Game Plan

Okay, I'm finally sitting down to write about some things that are happening in my life. I may have to split this post up into a few installments so my fingers don't fall off. Just a warning.

So I have been in the familiar "lonely place" for a while now. Sure, I go and do things, spend time with friends and family, and laugh a lot. But I'm finding that spending time with friends isn't enough. No offense, gals, but pal-ing around just isn't cuttin' the mustard anymore. I deeply value a few of my girl friendships. But where are all the guy friends I used to have?In high school, college, and even after college I recall having many good guy friends to talk with, hang with, and share advice with. Now I find myself in the land of women. and it is a desolate land. I guess I just miss the variety. Plus there's the whole "How the heck am I going to meet someone when I only hang out with girls all the time?"

I've tried "being emotionally available". "putting myself out there". "having a positive attitude". shoot, i even tried eharmony. and....nothing! Oh wait, there was the one eharmony date with only one lung.

i mean, I'm not crazy am i? i feel like I'm taking crazy pills. I've even tried going out with friends in groups of guys and no dice. when did it become so difficult for me to have a mixture of all types of friends?

I'm about to freaking try speed dating. yes, it has come to this. Lissa has already put the fear in me about my eggs getting old. yikes!

I'm also of the recent opinion (and i know it's true) that there's NOTHING I can do to make Dream Man appear for me. It doesn't matter how skinny I get, or how much money I save, or how highly educated I am. God is God, and I have to surrender to his plan, his timing, and his purpose. Meanwhile, I'm just praying like a damn fool and doing everything I feel called to do because I hate wasting time being out of God's Will. So even though I feel hopeless, I know I am not without hope.

Double edged sword, it is.

More about my work situation later!

J'Layne